I am multifaceted. Bitch, I do a ton of shit.

What I’m trying to say here is I’m actually not particularly good at any one thing. The title of this article is inspired by Ms Angel Haze [werkin’ girls]. Over the last year or so, putting what I do and what I’m passionate about into words has been a source of frustration because, well, I don’t have one direction of travel and don’t think I ever will.

It me.

Tamika Abaka-Wood’s work experience (2011–2015) in one non-chronological paragraph:

I spent a year and a bit travelling around Ethiopia, Nigeria, Rwanda and Senegal researching youth culture with hundreds of teenage girls for the Nike Foundation. I’ve got a psychology BSc. I worked in an A&E mental health department. I’ve assisted a PhD student researching linguistics using EEG machines and MRI scans. I’ve done marketing stuff for adidas, Rimmel, and various brands and advertising agencies which I may still be under NDA for (dammit). I’ve worked with a team project managing, editing and publishing two books. I’ve had the pleasure of choreographing for Stella McCartney and adidas. I’ve been rejected for a ton of jobs and opportunities. I’m a resident choreographer (and undercover mentor) at a dance school. I work on strategy for charities, cultural institutions and for-profit businesses. Clients have paid for me to work in Milan and Paris. I’ve been bored and not working on any projects and making no money. I’ve been an event producer. I teach a fitness class in my community. I’m working with two incredible ex-gang members on the best business idea. In the last couple of months I’ve started writing mainly because Pride magazine kindly published a piece and I clocked I really enjoy doing it.

Grateful. Slightly confused at how this has happened. I clearly haven’t done the above without help, and people believing I was capable enough — I am eternally thankful for those wonderful human beings.

Everytime I’ve tried to write an Instagram/Twitter bio I’ve failed miserably because, well: researcher/ insight generator/ brand strategist/problem-solver/choreographer/really enjoys writing but mainly as a hobby/ kinda really wants to learn how to dj too. So I end up with a rocket emoji instead.

I often get asked “Wait, what do you actually do?” and I’ve yet to come up with a succinct answer because I don’t have just one passion.

This year, it seems as though everyone around me has figured out a career area they want to pursue and are absolutely killing it — that’s the dream right? Find your passion and keep at it no matter what. My boy is an incredible photographer. My brother has been an entrepreneur and innovative thinker since the age of 6. My cousin is training to be a doctor. My other cousin is an innately talented illustrator and artist. My homie is the best fashion+beauty writer you ever did see. To top this off, I am surrounded by a network of amazing friends doing amazing things — poets, stylists, rappers, professionals, event curators, DJ’s, presenters, teachers, etc etc.

I can’t lie — it’s shit being the jack of all trades at times, it can feel a little directionless. I’ve been told I have potential before but I’ve never understood what people mean when they say this, and to be honest, I don’t think they really know what they mean either…

‘Potential’ reeks of disappointment and is translated in my head as ‘I’m not exactly sure where you fit in, but you’ve got something there kid’.

It seems as though the universe has conspired this week, to show me actually it’s absolutely fine to be a jack of all trades:

• At a dinner my colleague’s insanely talented and well-respected husband explained how hard it was to articulate what it is he does: “I get paid to be myself” was what I took from this conversation.
• My friend who just moved to New York sent me an article about variety being the spice of life and how it ultimately results in higher levels of creativity.
• I had coffee with a lady whose CV I was so jealous of, mainly because it is sporadic, unpredictable and exciting. Whilst speaking to her I could see how all of her experiences informed her thinking — she has a really bright mind, and unique point of view on everything.
• There’s a guy I know who is currently building a boat out of trash and rowing it down the Hudson River as we speak, whilst raising awareness about environmental issues and documenting it in a film along the way. His life is fulfilling because he doesn’t box himself in.
• I was reminded of a moment as a child when asked what I wanted to do, my reply was: “I can’t imagine myself just having one job, I think I’ll flit from thing to thing.”

I was asked why I was writing this article, and it’s part therapy for myself (I’ve been in a 3-year-long quarter life crisis) and partly because if there is just one person out there who relates to this, I want you to know I see you b. Do you.

For all of those people who’ve been accused of ‘drifting’ — one piece of advice: don’t allow people to discredit your inquisitiveness and passion for exploration, for anything else but that.

Stay unboxable, keep seeking out new experiences, discover things you never knew, write down your ideas, connect the many many dots you’ve made and try shit out. Mastering a trade sounds like a really dull place to be at in my eyes. Keep learning.

P.S. just received the best Christmas present this year — “go away and research some courses, choose one and do it, it can be anything you like.” So I’m off to potentially add another unexpected experience, skill and way of thinking to the list. Laters.